


keeps on finding me

by Nebbles



Series: it's always been you - Sylvix Week 2020 [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Glenn Fraldarius Lives, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: Throughout every universe, there lies one fact that seems to be a constant: Sylvain has always loved Felix, and hopes he loves him back.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: it's always been you - Sylvix Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932958
Comments: 11
Kudos: 51
Collections: Sylvix Week 2020 Fic Collection





	keeps on finding me

**Author's Note:**

> I had initially struggled with this prompt, so I'm glad I was able to turn into something I really enjoyed! 
> 
> Day 6: Reincarnation+Confessions

Sylvain finds himself having the same dream as before, though he’s less and less sure it’s one. It feels like fragments of a memory drifting in from a distant shore, of a life that’s his and not his at the same time. Some nights, he’s watching through the eyes of a stranger. Other nights, he’s on horseback with a lance in hand, helping fell a mighty beast the size of a house. It falls to the ground with an ear-piercing shriek, and fades into nothingness as they watch.

In all these dreams, Felix is by his side. It’s the one thing that never changes. His eyes are sharper than the blade he wields that never hesitates to cut his enemies in half. He’s distant, too, yet Sylvain never knows why. He’s not like the Felix he sees every day, who grumbles yet smiles when Glenn teases him for pouting when he loses in Mario Kart. 

In this dream world, Sylvain kisses Felix and tells him he loves him. He hears it back. They’re tired and they look much older than two men in their mid-twenties. They’re covered in blood and wear armor and kiss on rainy battlefields and in stone palaces and serve a king that looks like Dimitri. He and Felix curl up together in a bed by a grand fireplace, layered under a plethora of thick blankets to keep the snow at bay.

In this world, where Sylvain groans as he hits the snooze button on his phone, the bed is empty. There’s no Felix here to whisper a soft good morning to, no Felix to lazily kiss until they decide to wake up. He loves Felix in this world too, but the words sit on his tongue and remain in the back of his throat.

 _Bed’s too big,_ Sylvain thinks to himself as he sits up. There’s a part of his heart that’s empty as the space next to him. His gaze traces back to his phone to glance at the time; it’s just before noon. The only instances Sylvain sleeps in like this are after dreams such as these. 

He’s thought of confessing more times than he can count. Both Glenn and Mercedes have encouraged him, yet Sylvain’s never been able to give himself that final push. In the back of his mind, he wonders if he’s ended up in the one world that Felix doesn’t love him. It’s stupid and selfish, but after having a glimpse of what he could have (or perhaps has had, in a past time), rejection would taste much too bitter.

With a sigh, he pushes back the rest of the covers and shuffles to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. As the machine does its work, he idly checks his email, social media feeds, or anything else missed. It’s the weekend, so there’s really nothing to but stand here and focus on how his thumb hovers over the keyboard, thinking of what to even say to Felix.

Sylvain’s done some fairly stupid things in the past, but he isn’t about to add “confess to Felix over a text message” onto that list. He’s certain Felix isn’t busy, so all there is to do hit send.

> _[Hey, Felix! Are you free today? :] ]_

Instead of staring at his phone and waiting for a reply, Sylvain pours some coffee into his mug as he goes to get some cream and sugar. As he stirs it all in, he begins to contemplate how he’ll go about this. Nothing weird about telling your best friend, “Hey, I’m in love with you, and also I think in our past lives we were together? Neat, right?”

It’s almost too easy to imagine the look on Felix’s face. 

> [yeah. _what’s up?]_
> 
> _[...are you just waking up?]_

Sylvain snorts to himself as he takes a sip of his coffee. Leave it to Felix to still be mildly annoyed that a certain someone still sleeps in on the weekends.

Maybe past Sylvain was a slacker. Who knows? 

> [You _can judge me for it later, Fe. So, can I come over?]_
> 
> [yeah, _sure. maybe glenn can kick your ass in smash again.]_

Oh, Felix, charming as ever. Sylvain shakes his head with a smile as he leans back against the counter. He wonders what past Felix challenged him to, and if past Glenn was there to egg them on.

Something in his gut tells him he wasn’t, and Sylvain isn’t sure why.

> _[Sounds great! What time can I grace you with my presence? ;) ]_

Sylvain can _see_ the way Felix rolls his eyes at the phone. It warms him more than the cup of coffee in his hand.

> _[don’t make me change my mind.]_
> 
> [ _come over whenever.]_

He only has a few hours (and that’s being generous) to figure out how to tell Felix he’s in love with him, and not only that, they’ve met before and loved each other in those lives, too.

No sweat, right?

* * *

Before Sylvain makes it to Felix’s room, he’s accosted by Glenn.

“You gonna tell him?” He asks, arm around his shoulder. “I’d like to win that bet with Mercedes already.”

Should Sylvain be insulted that his friends are placing bets on who confesses first? Probably. “Depends. Who bet on what?”

“I’ll tell you if you confess. Mercedes and I are waiting with bated breath.” As always, Glenn’s such a source of comfort. “Oh, Dimitri too. Don’t ask how that happened.”

Sylvain’s eyebrows knit together, and Glenn’s quicker than ever to push him in the direction of Felix’s room. “Go. I’m sick of watching you longingly staring at each other.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost.” Well, if Sylvain was feeling out of sorts earlier, he’s definitely off his game. And he’s usually good at this! What is about Felix that makes his brain turn into mush? 

“What’d Glenn have to ask you?” Felix raises an eyebrow. 

“Oh, uh, nothing important.” For someone who’s lied for a good portion of his life, Sylvain’s suddenly very bad at it. “Said whoever wins today’s matches gets to choose dinner.”

Felix still looks suspicious, but just shrugs and tosses him a controller. “Hope I kick your ass, then. Your taste in food is terrible.”

“How is me not wanting to set my mouth on fire terrible?” Sylvain enjoys spicy food, but he isn’t interested in searing his taste buds off. “You’re the one with questionable taste.”

Felix is trying to keep a straight face, which is common during their moments of stupid banter. “We’ll see how things go.”

They get a few matches in before Sylvain’s eyes drift back to Felix. He’s still kind in this unknown world, but it’s hidden away. It’s locked under layers of sharp barbs and deflection. Sylvain wants to know why he’s this way, but he doesn’t want to imagine what could’ve hurt him so badly. What’s the Sylvain in that world like? Why don’t his dreams ever let him know? Is other Sylvain a person not worth knowing? 

If that’s the case, why does other Felix love him? Unaware he’s not playing, Sylvain’s hands still over the controller as he fails to open his mouth. Why is this so difficult? Not to say he was brimming with confidence before, but to be at this loss for words…

“You’re staring.” Felix pauses their game as he sets the controller down. “Care to tell me why?”

“What if…” Oh, to hell with this. “What if I told you we’ve met before, Felix? In a past life?”

As expected, the look he gets from Felix is full of incredulity. His brows are pulled together, lips in a thin line. “I’m going to think you’re full of it, then.”

“I keep having these dreams,” he can’t stop now, he has to keep going, “ones where we’re in a war. You’re relentless with a sword, and I’m always at your back with a lance. A weird, creepy looking lance that glows in the dark. We’re fighting for Dimitri, to keep him safe, and our friends are there too. Mercedes and Annette can use magic, Ashe has a bow, Ingrid’s on a flying horse and Dedue’s always at Dimitri’s side, axe in hand.” 

“And you think this happened before?” Felix isn’t buying it for a second. Sylvain pretends to be surprised.

“It feels too real.” Sylvain shakes his head. “And if I keep having them, then what if that means something? It’s always focused on us, Fe. I see us defending castles, I see us on an endless field, protecting each other… it’s always you. In this world, I… maybe I was sort of in love with you? And you loved me back?”

Oh, real smooth, Sylvain. That’s a perfect confession, judging by the way Felix’s eyes widen as he stares in silence.

“Or, um, I…” Backpedal! You’re going to screw this up, and lose him! “But that’d be silly, right?”

The music in the background from their forgotten game is taunting. The silence from Felix is louder, and Sylvain’s nails dig into his arm. 

It’s a few minutes until Felix finds his voice. “Say that again.”

“Say… say what again?” Sylvain tries to swallow the heart that’s jumped into his throat.

“You know what I mean, Sylvain.” Felix’s eyes go to the floor. “Say it again.” 

“That I’m in love with you?” It comes out a bit rushed, and Sylvain wonders if he’s sunk back into that faraway world.

He sees red color Felix’s cheeks. “Say it like you mean it.” 

Sylvain reaches out for his hands without another thought. “Felix, I’m in love with you. _This_ you. Maybe we were meant to find each other in this world and fall in love, just like we did in that one. I don’t know how much I actually believe in destiny, but…”

“Can you just shut up and kiss me?” Felix finally looks up at him, despite the blush that’s creeped to his ears. “I… I love you too, if that helps,” he mumbles this part. 

And who is Sylvain to deny him? He cups Felix’s face in his hands, and as their lips meet, it’s as if everything falls into place. They’ve found each other yet again, and fallen in love as it’s one of the unwritten laws of the world. It’s always supposed to be them, Felix and Sylvain by each other’s sides, and it makes life just a little bit brighter.

When they part, both men are in a daze, lost in each other’s presence. Wow. Dream Sylvain couldn’t have wished for a first kiss that good. 

“You don’t have to believe me,” Sylvain says softly, “but if you want to hear about our supposed past lives, I’d be happy to tell you.” 

“Maybe about the swords,” Felix says as he brings Sylvain in for another kiss, “I’d like to hear about those.”

Sylvain gives a snort, completely unsurprised with this answer. “Whatever you want, Fe.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, make sure to leave a comment/kudos! If you want to hear about future works and rambles, make sure to follow me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/that_nebbles)


End file.
